The Road to Sobriety
Now I know what you are thinking…being sober is lame, right? You need alcohol to have fun, right? Alcohol will give you the confidence to talk to that girl or guy, right? Alcohol will numb the pain, right? This is what society has taught us. Movies, shows, and even just going out to social settings, alcohol is everywhere, so it makes it sense as to why it seems okay for people to drink it. Now I am not judging anyone who drinks alcohol whatsoever ( just need to throw that out there), but what is the reason for why you drink it? I know some people like to drink socially or some people drink because they are addicted and others drink to numb any pain they have. It seems people rely on alcohol to solve their problems and I am not saying everyone relies on alcohol, but a lot of people do whether they realize it or not.
Now the reason for this post is because I used to drink a lot. I was never addicted to alcohol (maybe in some ways I was). I used to pregame a few days a week and go out to the bars with my friends and sometimes I would be extremely drunk. This went on for years. It seemed okay at the time, but now that I am older, I cringe at the memories of how I was. I would get sloppy at times, maybe even embarrass myself other times, and I could have potentially put myself at risk. And of course the next day I felt AWFUL. I felt like I got hit by a train. I sometimes would even drink the night before work and then had to suffer the next day at work being extremely hungover. I was irresponsible at times for sure. It ruined my entire day every….single….time I drank the night before.
Now for those of you who do not know, I suffer from bipolar disorder. It honestly sucks at times. So drinking alcohol would definitely make it worse for me and cause severe depression the next day. When I was drunk, sometimes I would flip a switch and just act in rage and do things that I shouldn’t be doing, like running in the middle of the street or screaming and just downright embarrassing myself. I look back at those memories and I wish I could take them back, but at the same time, it made me who I am now. Alcohol for me was a social thing and I felt like I needed alcohol in order to fit in or have fun. I always had to have a drink in my hand at all times. I was the one taking shots with my friends and just staying out til 2 or 3 am and then feeling like trash the next day.
Then in 2019, my father passed away which was the absolute worst thing that could have ever happened to me and my family. After that, I would sometimes turn to alcohol if I was having a rough day and crying. I wanted to numb the pain or just drink enough to go to sleep and turn off my brain. Now I did not do this everyday, but when I was having an extra bad day, I would do this. It was not healthy for me and I know my dad would not have wanted that for me. I still got drunk and still triggered my bipolar disorder and still felt hungover. Just a bad cycle.
I am about to get scientific now by the way. Alcohol is a depressant as most of you already know. It works by slowing down parts of your brain and results in impaired cognitive function. So basically what that means is alcohol makes you drunk….duh. It affects your brain so much that it can cause depression, anxiety, and other forms of mental illness. So the more you drink, the worse you are going to feel. Alcohol is literally poison, not only to your brain, but to your body as well. Your body works harder to eliminate alcohol out of your system. Your liver takes quite a hard hit since it is working super hard to remove this toxicity out of you. It can affect other organs as well and cause other physical health issues such as; irregular heart beat, seizures, nerve damage, high blood pressure, amnesia, gout, and so on.
Not only can drinking often affect your physical and mental health, but you put yourself in danger when you are drunk and impaired, especially if you are a female. There are so many predators out there just waiting to pounce on the opportunity to take a drunk female home with them. It is disturbing. It can affect your relationships with others as well. Sometimes drunk people say hurtful things and can cause issues with others. I know I said some things to people when I was drunk that I did not mean. I know I would fight with my friends or family when I would drink. Not only do you hurt yourself, but you hurt others as well.
My final straw was when I drank too much (I went day drinking) and I got so hammered and caused a scene. I acted like a lunatic in the middle of downtown St. Pete and ran into traffic and was getting physical towards others. I am surprised I did not even get hit by a car. It triggered my bipolar so intensely and I never wanted that to happen again, so I just quit drinking the very next day. That was in March of this year and now it is almost November and I have had maybe 2 or 3 drinks since then.
I can easily say no to alcohol now if someone offers it to me, I can function like a normal human being, I am more responsible, I go to bed earlier, and wake up more refreshed now compared to when I was drinking. I am not perfect, but I am SO MUCH BETTER. I can think more clearly now and I feel physically better as well. My last drink was in July of this year, so almost 4 months ago. I have not gotten drunk or even at all tipsy since March. Now, I do not mind having a glass of wine once in a blue moon like for a special occasion. But my cutoff is 1 or 2 glasses. I am sober now and I will continue to be sober. I am much happier and while I am still working on my mental illness, I know that eliminating alcohol will improve my mental illness so much more.
You should try cutting alcohol out for at least a month and see how you feel because I bet you that you will feel a million times better. I know in social settings people drink and I think it is the act of holding a drink in your hand, so instead of beer or wine or liquor, try just holding a cup of water or a soda or whatever else that is not alcohol. Give it a go!! You got nothing to lose by cutting alcohol out.
